Learning to speak again
by Dxzstar
Summary: Lapis hasn't interacted with another gem in a civilized manner since before she was trapped in the mirror. Now she's left socially awkward and with the low self esteem issues you'd expect from a traumatized gem. But with a little help from Peridot and a bit of trust in another unexpected friend, Lapis just might be able to turn her social life around and even gain a new love life.
1. A little nudge

**Saturday evening, the Barnyard**

Lapis sat at the barnyard in the back of the rusty old truck watching "Camp Pining Hearts" by herself while Peridot was gone. She wasn't really watching though because it was a rerun. Instead, she was thinking. About everything that had happened to this point with the Crystal Gems. From when she talked to Steven from the abyss of the mirror, when she tried to kill them after being released, when she tried to steal Earth's ocean to escape back to Homeworld. The horrible moment when Jasper grabbed her ankle as she tried to flee from the wreckage site, when she decided that she would lock herself and Jasper away just for Steven's sake, the horrifying months she endured trying to keep them both under, the desperation she felt as she was drowned out in the fight between Alexandrite and Malachite. How she was so confused and exhausted when she woke up in the temple, how she felt when Steven tried to convince her to stay with him on Earth, how she felt when he _did_ convince her, her half frustration half amusement as Peridot tried to somehow make it all up to her, the way the whole group came together to keep Peridot and Jasper a secret from the rubies. How much fun she had with Steven on the boat ride, how sick she felt when Jasper ruined it.

It all just kept tumbling in her head now that she didn't have any distraction for it. She'd been through so much and it wasn't over yet. Not with this group of Gems. Not with Homeworld. Yellow Diamond wanted this planet glassed; Yellow Diamond had a tendency to get what she wanted. So far just those rubies had been sent after Jasper and Peridot. Soon enough though, Yellow Diamond would send real Quartz warriors to shatter her opposition. It was okay though, they would all deal with that then. Right now, they were just trying to fix all the shit Jasper was causing. She wasn't there, but apparently Steven and Amethyst had fought off Jasper in a toe-to-toe fight according to Peridot. Peridot apparently dealt the final blow though which had given her a big confidence booster lately. All that aside, Lapis was simply thinking about her wild roller coaster of a life and how she might actually be able to bear it with Peridot and Steven. As for the other Crystal Gems… She was still pondering how she felt about them.

When she thought about it, she hadn't interacted with any of them very much so far, but she'd seen enough to form a slight idea of their person. Amethyst, she thought, was actually kinda cool. Amethyst never wronged her, and she held her form for forever when the Rubies traveled to the moonbase. She looked like she was having a lot of fun during that game of...baseball was it? Whatever. Point was Amethyst seemed okay. Lapis was more wary of Garnet, who was constantly fused together. It unnerved her that the Ruby and Sapphire could remain fused that long and not lose themselves in the fusion. Or grow to despise one another. When Lapis was fused together with Jasper it was a constant power struggle as one tried to drown the other for dominance of the body and power of Malachite. But Lapis did have to admit the dynamics of a fusion might change if the goals of the fusion were different…

Finally… there was that damned Pearl. She knew that she couldn't stand that Pearl. Pearl knew there was a living gem in that mirror, yet she didn't even bother to think about who that gem might have been. And when she got to find out, Lapis knew she wanted to just put her back in the mirror. She could see it in Pearl's eyes on the beach. Even now there was always a degree of… pity? Hatred? Anger? Some type of negative quality she could never really place, whenever Pearl looked at Lapis. And Lapis couldn't stand it. It just made her so angry whenever she had to look at Pearl in the eye. She didn't want Pearl to feel like she could just lord over her like so many others… Lapis knew how to handle those things from now on...

While Lapis was brooding, a massive blonde accumulation of hair-like material appeared in front of Lapis' face and she squeaked out in surprise. Lapis raised a hand to beckon a small puddle of water nearby but stopped when she saw that the blonde hair was attached to a green scalp. The figure was trying to climb into the truck and seemed to be struggling. Lapis laughed to herself a little and bent forward and helped Peridot up.

"Thank you Lapis Lazuli." Peridot said while settling down in her spot beside Lapis.

"Hey Peridot. Did you bring me back another souvenir?" Lapis asked, quickly recovering and droning on with her normal bored expression.

"Uh, yeah. I got you this spherical… Thing! I'm really not sure what this one is supposed to be but I do like it's appearance and thought you might like it." Peridot excitedly gave Lapis an odd little bauble that appeared to be a Yin-Yang symbol inside of what appeared to be a marble. Lapis actually thought it was pretty neat and thought it would look nice with some of the other things that Peridot had collected on missions.

"Thanks Peridot. I'll put this with the rest." She said as she got up and walked deeper into the barn and placed the baubble in a pile in a corner of the barn. She could have flown but she didn't feel like she needed to fly for absolutely everything.

"You're welcome. This planet has so many different things on it, that it's never all that hard getting new things when I go out with the others." Peridot said with a bit of pride.

"That's good." Lapis said as she climbed back into her spot in the truck. "It's nice to know there's enough stuff on the planet to keep us occupied for a century or two."

"Does that mean that you plan to stay?" She asked as she watched Lapis hop back in the truck

"Yeah. I'm not totally sure that I like Earth as much as you and the Crystal Gems but I do find it interesting. Also Homeworld seems to be less than pleasant right now and I may have nowhere else to go despite there being an endless universe for me to travel." Lapis stated with more than a little sarcasm.

"Hold on. 'You and the Crystal Gems'? Are you insinuating that you're not a part of the Crystal Gems?" Peridot asked with more than a bit of suspicion.

Lapis sighed and prepared the conversation that she was sure would happen eventually "No Peridot. I am not part of the Crystal Gems. If Homeworld were to invade Earth again I would fight back with you guys, but I'm no Crystal Gem. Other than you and Steven, I barely like them and as far as I'm concerned our ideals don't exactly fit together either." Lapis wasn't looking forward to the conversation she would have to have about this. She knew Peridot pretty well because they spent so much time together here in the barn, and she knew that Peridot was going to argue that Lapis was part of the Crystal Gems whether she liked it or not.

"Lapis, I understand if you don't quite care for Earth as the other gems do, and I also understand that you and the others aren't exactly on the best of terms. I can't think of a way to change how you feel about Earth but as for the Crystal Gems, I found them to be more amiable after taking time to understand who they are and spending time with them. It might be easier for you to like the Crystal Gems if you were to come out with us on missions. There have been more than a few missions that would have been much easier of you were there to assist us." Peridot spoke slowly like she was unsure of her words and Lapis could tell she was pleading. She had to admit she'd had little contact with the Gems after deciding to stay at the barn and before that her interactions weren't exactly friendly. She didn't want to admit it but Peridot might have been right. She really didn't know anything about the Gems.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to."

"That's not an explanation."

"I don't have to fully explain myself."

"Yes, you do. It's the whole point of the conversation."

At this point Lapis was done conversing and decided to fly up to the top of the nearby silo. When she got to the top, she sat down and curled up and put her head in her knees. She didn't want to go on missions with the other gems. They put themselves in harms way to protect humanity and to capture the corrupted gems. Lapis didn't particularly care about either of those things. They didn't directly affect her and she wasn't keen on risking her life either. She also didn't want to interact with them all that much. It was nice to be out of her mirror but ,Steven and Peridot excluded, it had been a millenia since she held a civil conversation with another Gem. And even those exclusions were barely what anybody could call civil.

" _I'm just tired of all of this. I just want to go back to how things were. Before the mirror. Before the rebellion. It wasn't perfect back then but at least I knew what to do._ _I knew what I_ _ **wanted**_ _to do._ _Now I just have to while away the centuries with the grand choice of fighting with those Crystal Gems or sitting in boredom with Peridot. At least we get to make art when we have the pieces for it."_ She thought glumly.

"LAPIS!" Lapis heard shouting from below her and saw that Peridot was standing under the silo with a determined expression on her face.

" _Oh boy. Join the Crystal Gems round_ _two_ _here we go."_ Lapis rolled her eyes. Something she'd seen Pearl do once or twice before. It had a certain sass to it and she liked that.

"What?" Lapis had peeked over the edge but refused to come down for the ensuing argument.

"Look. I'm not here to argue over the facts with you considering whenever we have arguments of this nature, you have a tendency to simply ignore me." She spoke quietly and Lapis had to strain herself to hear. "So I'll get to the point; You're a gem just like me and Amethyst, and Garnet, and Pearl. You're not going to change that. I understand the centuries haven't been very well for you being locked inside of a mirror for so long and then when you finally get out, you're not only sent back to this planet but you end up being trapped here for an extended period of time with- "

"Peridot, I don't want a recap of the misadventure that is my life. I want you to get to the point..," Lapis would rather not have someone tell her how horrible her life was. She was doing that well enough herself before Peridot got back.

Peridot looked a little surprised at the indication that Lapis was actually listening but she quickly recovered.

"R-Right… What I'm saying is, it would probably be better for you if you began to socialize with the other gems again. I'm not very good at understanding the feelings of others but I understand that you aren't particularly fond of them. I can't change your views on that but I can help you change them yourself. I wanna work a deal with you. If you'll go on just two missions with the rest of the gems, I'll oblige however you feel afterwards and never bring it up again." Peridot finished sounding sincere. Lapis was a little surprised. Peridot hadn't spoken that sincerely since the time she attempted to convince Lapis to stay at the barn with her.

It was a shame that her efforts wouldn't be rewarded.

"No."

"But Lapis!"

"That's it Peridot. This conversation is over. Now can you please get off the subject so that we can go back to watching TV?"

"… Fine."

Later that evening as Lapis and Peridot sat inside the truck, Peridot successfully attempted sleep for the first time. She had spotted the phenomenon on TV and thought to test its effects on Gems. The little green gem was promptly out after that, leaving Lapis once again alone in her thoughts.

She was back to thoughts about the Crystal Gems. Well, thoughts of how to while away the years with no clear cut purpose anymore. She really had to wonder how the Gems did it. Back on Homeworld, everything and everyone had a purpose. Sure, there were a few entertainments, there were great libraries for great writers and poets, there were arenas to watch fighters battle in, there were even theaters of sorts to watch stages of plays. But in the end, everyone would always return to their role. But… Here Lapis was free to do what she wanted. Anything at all. She could even take to studying the humans and acting like them. Live what the humans would call a normal life. But she'd never do that. She didn't know the first thing about human society. Nor did she really care to live her life as a human. But still, maybe she should join with the Crystal Gems… Just so that she would have something to do.

"Peridot." She called out to Peridot to wake her up seeing as that was the most common thing the humans on TV did to wake one another up but she didn't seem to be responding. "Peridot!"

" _What did the humans usually do next on TV? It involved some sort of physical contact… Oh, I remember now, they usually..."_

 **SMACK!**

" _WHAT THE HELL **!?"**_ Peridot screamed and flailed in surprise and outrage when Lapis slapped her hard across the face. Lapis took note of Peridot using one of the new phrases they'd heard on TV.

"You wouldn't wake up and that's usually what the humans on TV do when someone doesn't wake up." Lapis responded with a nonchalant expression.

"Maybe if you're a complete clod! Normally you just shake them awake! Did you not notice they tend to be absolutely furious after being slapped awake!?" Peridot shouted shrilly, glaring daggers at Lapis.

"Huh, I'll keep that in mind next time you decide to do that sleeping thing." Lapis responded drily.

"What do you even want? You completely ignored me earlier today and now you've attacked me in my sleep." Peridot got up from the truck and went to sit on a large pile of blankets. "Did I do something to you? Do you not want to stay in the barn with me anymore? Because if you don't, you can just use those stupid wings of yours and fly away like you do any other time you don't want to talk!" Peridot shouted the last sentence at Lapis.

"I just wanted to tell you I changed my mind, and was okay with your stupid deal and I didn't mind going on missions with you and the other gems. But if you're just going to yell at me like you're doing now then I'm better off staying here in the barn!" Lapis shouted back.

Peridot prepared a response but stopped before she could let out the retort. "Really? You'll come with me and the other gems?"

"Yes. Just don't expect me to be friendly with everyone right away..."

At this Peridot jumped up excitedly. "Yes! Don't worry Lapiz Lazuli, you'll be friends with the other Gems before you know it." Peridot said with a large grin.

"I hope you're right..." Lapis muttered to herself. Hopefully this wasn't a mistake.

* * *

 ***A/N: I think that means author's note? Probably. Maybe. Anyways, Hi there! Thanks for making it to the bottom of the first chapter of this mess. Especially if you read this before this edit. (The grammar and punctuation errors… horrifying.) I just wanna say that this is the first fic I've come up with and I would appreciate it if you would leave a review letting me know what you thought of it whether you liked it or not. It helps me to become a better writer and lets me know what others think of the fic. Thanks in advance, and I'll try to leave notes at the bottom of each chapter as a means to communicate with some of the reviewers as direct response doesn't seem to be available on the app. For example…**

 **-kurona7:** _Hmmm interesting. I'll be honest, I'm hoping it the romance will be shipping Lapidot, but I don't mind other ships. This seems to have a nice writing to it._

 _-_ **dxzstar:** _ **I'm glad you thought it was interesting. I flat out thought it was bad haha. As for who she's being shipped with, that's gonna be part of the fun in this fic. I've planned exactly two chapters and after this next chapter I have only the barest hint of what I want to do haha #poorplannin**_ _ **g**_

 **Something like that.** **Well, I guess I'll see you all in the next chapter as Lapis finally has an extended** **(and hopefully non-violent)** **conversation with the Crystal Gems. Thanks and swift winds everybody!**


	2. Hugs make everything better

**Thursday morning, The Barnyard**

"Okay, I think we've both gone too far with this. You were right, I was being stubborn and we should go. I'll go to the temple, just please put the truck down." Lapis pleaded with Peridot from inside the confines of the high floating truck.

"Pfft," Peridot rolled her eyes at Lapis' plea. "I remember hearing you say that at some point before and yet, look where we are now. I'm not letting you down until Steven arrives. Although, I might be more inclined to drop the truck if you weren't _threaten_ _ing me with the whole darn lake_ _!_ " Peridot exclaimed, noting the shimmering nature of the shadows in front of her that towered over her own solid disruption of the sun's light.

She was painfully aware that Lapis could at any point in time drop the entire mass on her with the weight of several tons. She was also painfully aware that if Lapis was really thinking right now, she'd have just flown out of the truck, crushed Peridot, and moved on with her day. On the bright side though, Lapis wasn't taking that course of action and that was good enough for Peridot.

Lapis on the other hand was in total turmoil at the moment. She scrunched up her face as she tried to recollect how her and Peridot had ended up using their powers against each other.

* * *

 **Earlier that morning…**

Lapis wasn't feeling very well that morning. She was feeling anxious about seeing the gems again and it was beginning to affect her physical form. Not only was she feeling an odd need to pace about, but there was a tight knot forming in the pit of her stomach and she didn't like it.

It was all stemming from this meeting with the Crystal Gems and the closer it got to the time to call Steven, the tighter the knot in her stomach became. The tighter the knot became, the more she doubted that this would all work out. It was just a vicious cycle of anxiety and doubt.

" _Who am I kidding? Peridot's right. It's been literal ages since the last time I've had the chance to talk with another Gem and just have a conversation._ _I'd just screw the whole thing up. Besides, I'm confident they don't really want to talk to me either,_ _considering I've tried to kill them three times now._ _Not to mention bringing Homeworld back with_ _me_ _._ _I nearly got Steven killed and this is the worst idea ever. They're gonna destabilize and bubble me and then that'll be the end of Lapis. They hate me._ ** _I_** _hate m_ ** _-_** _"_ She was just turning in circles in her own head now.

"Lapis!" Lapis was snapped out of her thoughts as Peridot grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Lapis lied, more to herself than to Peridot. "I just… I-I don't want to go anymore Peridot." Lapis let the words slowly fall out of her mouth. She wasn't completely there yet and she knew it was showing on her face, but she couldn't just slip on the bored mask that she was so used to wearing now.

Peridot didn't look surprised. She did look worried though. She looked Lapis right in the eyes as she spoke slowly and carefully as if Lapis was made of glass and her words might shatter her very being. "Lapis. You are going through something that I have never encountered before. Provided, I'm a very young gem, but I would think I would hear something like this at the Kindergarten. Nonetheless, because of this, I lack the knowledge and capability to help correct whatever is affecting you. Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst are much older and are more capable of assisting you through sheer experience, than I am capable of on my own. Even Steven, as short lived as he is, is far more capable of comforting you than I am. Are you following me?" Lapis nodded numbly. "Good. So we're going to go to the temple. You're going to talk to them. They will think of a way to help you. Once they figure something out, you'll be able to go on missions and even help _them_ with _their_ problems. Now, I'm going to alert Steven and the others that we're prepared to go. Okay?"

Lapis wanted to believe Peridot. She _really_ wanted to think that the other Gems could help her. She wanted to think that it would all be okay. But there was no way any of them could help her. You simply don't cure a fear of heights by throwing someone off of a balcony. Similarly, you couldn't solve a fear of social interaction by locking a person in a room with several people who that person barely knew.

"No. I'm _not_ going to the temple. I don't _want_ to talk to Pearl, Garnet, Amethyst, or even Steven. They can't help me and they're only going to make it _worse_." Lapis said with steel in her voice.

Peridot's face shifted several times from pained, into fear, and after a moment, determination. "Lapis, you have to do this. How else are you going to learn to trust the gems? Sitting here, watching TV and making meep morps with me might be fun but it can't help you. What I'm trying to do is help you. "

Lapis moved and brought her hands to Peridot's and removed them from her shoulders before wrapping Peridot in a hug. Before Peridot could complain about the sudden contact, Lapis summoned her wings prompting Peridot to squeal in alarm but relax when she felt the familiar pattern of Lapis looping to the truck. She and Peridot simply sat down looking at the TV. If it weren't for the circumstances prior to this, it might have been normal. Lapis wasn't looking at Peridot though and she made an active act of keeping her face out of view while simultaneously looking up at the clouds.

"Peridot. I know you want to help me, but helping is easier if we just sit here and enjoy the things we do here on Earth. Together. Like when we watch 'Camp Pining Hearts' or make meep morps." Lapis stated. "It's not that I don't want your help or anything, I just don't wanna face up to the gems." Lapis stated forlornly.

"Are we done with this little game of yours?" Peridot asked Lapis tentatively. It was clear she wouldn't be having any of Lapis' distraction techniques.

"Yeah. I think I got the whole anxiety thing out of my system." Lapis was really telling the truth. She felt much better now after just talking with Peridot and she was ready to go to the temple and talk about her problems and deal with all this shmaltz. The feeling didn't last though and about five minutes later they were playing the same game they were before. Lapis would tell Peridot she didn't want to go anymore and Peridot and would tell her she needed to go anyways. A short period of time later, Lapis would tell Peridot that she was okay and the cycle would begin again.

After awhile though, both of them were tired of the little game and were ready to poof the other to just get it over with.

"Lapis, come on! This isn't funny anymore! You promised me that you would speak to the Crystal Gems!" Peridot tugged at Lapis with all her might but unfortunately, Lapis was built with more strength than Peridot. A fact that Lapis was remorselessly exploiting at the moment.

"No! I said no! I don't want to go anymore! Why the hell don't you care about how I feel about all of this!?" Lapis shouted at Peridot. She was clearly anxious and more than somewhat scared but Peridot didn't seem to have any intentions on letting her go.

"I don't care about what you _want,_ Lapis. I care about what you _need_! And right now you _need_ to attempt to interact with the other Crystal Gems! Whether you like it or not!" With every sentence she tugged harder and harder at Lapis who had just water-shackled her entire torso to the truck.

"Peridot I'm not going anymore." Lapis simply said firmly.

"Arrgh! Fine if you want to play this game, I'll make sure to prove my superiority!" Peridot exclaimed throwing up her hands and extending the palms towards the truck. Lapis was struck by the sudden inclination that maybe she should sit inside of the truck instead of in the truck bed. No sooner than she had somehow managed to crawl her way into the cockpit of the truck, it began to rattle. As she watched Peridot scrunch up her brow in concentration, Lapis idly wondered if Peridot would actually manage to pick up the whole truck. She wasn't very good with her powers yet and she wasn't sure that Peridot wou-

"Whoa!" Lapis shouted as the truck shook free from it's hazardous location in the barn.

"Now, if I really need to I'll just take the whole truck!" Peridot exclaimed. It was taking most of her concentration but Peridot actually managed to hold the entire truck about twenty feet in the air. Lapis was completely _furious_ the little green gem actually thought it might be okay to threaten her and so she summoned her own ultimatum for Peridot. A massive hand appeared out of the water of the pond behind Peridot. It was pretty clear to Lapis the Peridot realized it was there because Peridot's gaze was directed towards the shadow displayed by the water. It was right about then, as they were squaring off against each others powers, that Lapis realized that this was stupid and they didn't need to come to violence to reconcile this. Peridot had been right all along, There _was_ something wrong with her…

"Okay, I think we've both gone too far with this..."

* * *

"Fine, fine, fine." Lapis motioned with her hands and Peridot was happy to hear a squelching sound behind her and the retreat of the shadow-play in front of her.

Peridot visibly relaxed and slowly returned the truck to it's original placement in the barn. When the truck was returned to it's hazardous placement in the face of the barn, Lapis flew out from the truck and refused to look at Peridot. She knew she should apologize to her but honestly she didn't want to admit it and she didn't think it was her fault. Not the unprecedented use of powers anyways. That was all Peridot's doing. No, she was thinking about the fact that several times in the past few hours, she had to argue with Peridot about how much she was scared that these gems would worsen her current anxiety. She knew it was the only way to do this but she wouldn't dare admit that to Peridot. Not while she was sensible at least.

"Sooo… How soon can we leave before I get the chance to back out again?" Lapis asked, tentatively trying to avoid the subject of what just happened.

"Well, if you're done with all of your outbursts finally then we could leave now."

"Yeah… Let's do that..." Lapis had to force the words out of her mouth. She really didn't want to go but there was clearly something wrong with her and she'd had enough. It was gonna suck but she wanted to get this done and dusted so she go back to feeling like herself.

"Wait, isn't Steven supposed to be coming? Why would he come by if we could just use the warp pad?" Lapis questioned.

"Well, the point of Steven coming by and accompanying us was in the effort that you might feel less inclined to leave if he were nearby, as he was the person you were most familiar with." Peridot explained matter-of-factually.

Lapis simply stared at her hard for a moment before responding. "And with all that's happened this morning you honestly still believe that to be Steven?" Lapis knew Peridot could be dense when it came to the feelings of others, but she was really hoping that Peridot wasn't serious right now.

"Why wouldn't it be Steven? I would think that as the person who freed you from the mirror, his presence would be comforting. Also, you seem to associate with him almost effortlessly from what I've seen." Lapis simply took a deep breath. She really liked Peridot. Despite the interesting morning they'd had, she had actually come to enjoy Peridot's company because despite what one might think, she enjoyed the energy Peridot brought with her. The little green gem dove into anything with an almost unnatural fervor. Even when she was attempting to understand the feelings of others, which she always had trouble doing, she put in more effort than anyone should have the energy to do. It might actually be even easier to imagine this if you thought about how easily someone else might have just thrown the whole day when faced with Lapis' stubbornness. Besides that, she and Lapis had bonded strongly over the last month they'd spent together watching TV and making meep morps. They made an odd pair of roommates, but at the same time, it also made a lot of sense that the two gems would make good friends. They helped contrast one another in the same way that the sun breaking over a horizon helped to truly make an ocean view a spectacular sight.

Lapis fully believed that if there was anyone who was supposed to calm her, or make her feel comfortable it should have been Peridot. Not that she didn't like Steven or anything, the boy had given her life back and she would always be thankful for that. Not to mention he had helped her to learn that maybe Earth could be an interesting place. Lapis just wasn't sure how to feel about Peridot not knowing that she was important to her. No matter though. Peridot probably just over thought the situation.

"Hmm. I guess. But next time, I'd much rather just go with my favorite little Peridot." Lapis smirked at Peridot who had just turned a deeper shade of green.

"Hey Lapis, Peridot!" As if on cue, Steven came running from around the corner of the barn. As usual, he was dressed in his normal pink shirt with a star in the center and his casual blue jeans.

"Hey there Steven," Lapis replied with a slight smile on her face. "It's great to see you again!"

"Hello Steven! We should get going so that Lapis can get caught right up with the other gems." Peridot quickly stated, clearly trying to get going before Lapis could have another change of heart.

"Uh, sure?" Steven said, clearly confused at the obviously rushed greeting.

"Okay great let's go!" Peridot started tugging Lapis and simultaneously shoving Steven who didn't ask questions.

"Hold on, Peridot what's the rush? We've barely even said hi to each other." Steven halted his movement, barely resisting the still moving Peridot.

"Look, until five minutes ago, I was convincing Lapis not to cancel this planned meeting and honestly I feel she might try to cancel again so I would rather we proceed to the warp pad before she has another chance to change her mind.

"Uh, okay?" Steven was simply at a loss at this point and decided that they would just go.

They all stood on the warp pad and just before the pale light of the warp engulfed them Lapis had another pang of anxiety hit her right in the gut.

When they finally completed the warp, Lapis was greeted by the less familiar sight of the temple and it's regular occupants. Amethyst sat on the counter-top eating a bag of chips. She also seemed to have slightly modified her clothes. This time hew shirt was white and was her pants black. Her normally unruly hair also appeared to be tied back in a mid ponytail. Garnet and Pearl seemed to be both conversing on the couch but stopped when they saw the warp pad activate. Lion was lying nearby the doorway of the house, with one eye peeked open to observe those who had disturbed his slumber, but it was quickly closed upon identifying Steven. Lapis made a mental note to ask him what that creature was when she got the chance.

"Hello Steven, Peridot, Lapis." Garnet greeted them all with a nod.

"Sup Steven, P-dot, Lapis. How's it going" Amethyst greeted casually as if she talked to them every day.

"Oh, welcome back Steven. It's also nice to see you again Peridot…" Her face shifted almost imperceptibly when she looked at Lapis "… Hello Lapis." Pearl greeted awkwardly with that same unidentifiable look in her eyes. There it was again. That barely discernible trace of an unrecognizable emotion that Lapis had come to hate. She wasn't going to enjoy this scenario in any case but if she had to keep looking at that damned Pearl, she might gouge out those wide blue eyes of hers. Which would be a shame really.

"Hi." Was all she responded, not really trusting herself to deliver anything longer than that, for fear that she might squeak instead of speak due to the knot in her stomach. In all honesty, it was nowhere near as bad as she expected it to be but she didn't feel like she needed to invite the opportunity for it to grow to it's expected tension.

"Hello Garnet, Pearl, Amethyst." Peridot responded in a similar manner to Garnet, and proceeded to sit at one the bar stools with Amethyst.

"Hey guys." Steven responded to everyone, cheerfully stepping off the warp pad and sitting at one of the chairs positioned near the table.

Lapis was now the only one that hadn't taken a seat and she was deciding if she wanted to when Garnet spoke up.

"Well, now that everyone is here, let's get started." Garnet stated, standing up and walking towards Lapis but stopping a few steps away. "Lapis, Peridot has told me of your situation and your want to join the Crystal Gems on missions. To be honest, I can't allow an unstable gem as yourself to go on missions with us. At least, not until you've proven that you can get a firm grasp on that which is troubling you, and learn to keep calm. So, to that end, you will have a mentor of sorts. Someone who will be there for you when you are having trouble, and can assist you in moving forward. But first, I need to know from you exactly what those troubles are. I understand if you are uncomfortable sharing but unfortunately, we cannot make progress without information of what it is you're going through." Garnet set off straight to the point without any frills. Lapis appreciated that direct approach in the same way a convicted criminal appreciates a quick and painless death. She didn't want to speak but she understood that Garnet was trying to tell her that constantly running from this would only extend the duration of the process.

"Mhm..." Lapis scanned the room, idly buying time to compose her words, and walked towards the cushioned bench near the entrance. She sat down and was silent for some time, appearing to be in deep thought, which she was. But she didn't appear to be in self contained panic either, which she was.

" _Damnit! I didn't expect her to have me explain myself right off the bat. There wasn't even enough time for me to think of anything. The_ _y're_ _all staring at me!_ _I wish they'd stop, it's making it worse! I need to think! I need to say something! What do I say? What did she even want… Why are they still… !"_ Lapis' brows began to furrow and she felt like she was gonna scream. Unfortunately, she wasn't in the state of mind to ignore her inclinations right now.

"STOP STARING AT ME!" Lapis shouted, her own troubled thoughts manifesting themselves in an angry shout. For a moment, everyone was shocked and Lapis was afraid she'd screwed up the whole thing. "Wait I'm sorry! I just… I'm… not comfortable with everyone staring at me like this. That's one of the things. I hate all this attention." Lapis started, realizing she could keep going but only if she didn't let this momentum stop.

"You all make me uncomfortable and It's not because of the stares, just thinking about you all makes me uncomfortable because we haven't exactly interacted under the best circumstances as a matter of fact I've tried to kill everyone in this room at least once and I don't get how you can all be so calm right now and not try to poof and bubble me on the spot and that's just as weird as you all trying to kill me or the other way around." She took a moment to take a deep breath and restock her lungs. There was a small hitch as she breathed though and she knew this wasn't going to last much longer. "And the real truth is that you all scare me," Her eyes were starting to water now.

"but at the same time I hate all of you," she was starting to shiver now,

"You all kept me in that stupid mirror like I wasn't a gem too!" Now the tears were rolling but she couldn't stop or she'd never get the words out.

"I just wanted to get out and then you just wanted to shove me back like I'm some _plaything for your fucking amusement!"_ Now she stood up, her sadness roiling within her and mixing with the fury she thought she had forgotten until now.

" _I barely even remember who I was because of all of this!"_ Lapis was shouting now, but the words came out in angry garbled sobs like she couldn't decide which emotion she felt more.

" _And the worst of it all is that I still wanna be friends but I just DON'T! KNOW! HOW!"_ Each of her last words were accentuated with a defeated looking flail. At this point she broke down and simply slumped to the floor, sobbing and holding herself and shivering.

She felt strong arms wrap around her and she fell into them. Under normal circumstances, Lapis might have shoved them away, but right now she felt incredibly vulnerable and just didn't care. She wrapped her arms right back around the small frame and continued to cry, and after some time, she felt sobs that weren't even her own. She heard the other person weep out a single "I'm sorry" And then they cried together, sharing her pain. She never even opened her eyes, she just continued to cry against the other person and eventually she had exhausted herself into hiccups, and from there sniffled whines. By that time, she felt physically and emotionally exhausted and there was an odd tug at the back of her mind. It was accompanied by the dimming of her senses. She was compelled to simply give in to them, just because it was so compelling to just stop and rest. Just this once… maybe she'd indulge in sleep… It was just so… Warm. Comfortable… Safe.

Then she slept. A contented, dreamless sleep fueled by the warmth and safety of her partner's arms.

* * *

Lapis awoke groggily and to the sight of distorted wooden panels. She was lying on her back and she was on something cushy. After a very brief observation of her surroundings, she decided she was back at the temple and she was in Steven's bed. She couldn't exactly remember what she was here for though, which was weird. Was she on Steven's bed before? Why was she at the temple anyways? Her throat felt funny and her limbs heavy.

" _If this is what happens every time humans fall asleep, they live a cursed life."_ Lapis mused. Suddenly she remembered that she had slept. " _Well there's one piece of the-OH MY_ _STARS_ _I BROKE DOWN IN FRONT OF THE OTHER GEMS."_ It all came back all at once like a deluge. Lapis was supposed to just tell the gems what was wrong but instead of calmly telling them, or even shouting at them, she had to shout and then have a mental breakdown. She remembered someone crying with her and then falling asleep with them but she was in such a state she didn't know who it was. She was inclined to believe it was Peridot though. She quickly shook that idea from her head. That person had actually _cried with her_. Peridot might do a lot of things in that situation, but cry was not one of them. Steven maybe? No, the frame was a bit too small to be Steven. The boy was small, but he was built more solidly than the person she held. Maybe it really was Peridot? The other gems certainly weren't about to do it. Huh, she'd have to make it up to Peridot somehow because Peridot was bound to be reeling after a scene spent crying with Lapis.

" _Now I need to get up. But I'm just so… heavy? Why do all my limbs feel so heavy and slow? Seriously it was nice at first, but now it's just impeding my progress."_ Lapis slowly pushed herself up to a sitting position. Her action was rewarded by the sound of an all too familiar high strung voice that startled the poor blue gem.

"Oh! Lapis, you're awake." Lapis turned to see Pearl sitting on the same cushioned bench that Lapis had been sitting on previously. Pearl stood up but then she looked conflicted before tentatively taking steps towards Lapis.

"Pearl. Where are the others?" Lapis asked, not wanting to be trapped alone with Pearl. She managed to swing her legs over the bed but she just wasn't used to the stupor of sleep and was still figuring out how to shake it off.

"Well, Garnet, Amethyst and Peridot went on a mission. I figured Peridot should stay here with you but Garnet demanded Peridot participate. Steven was whisked away by Connie a few hours ago but they should be back soon. Right now it's just us." Pearl said as she continued to slowly take more steps towards Lapis while fidgeting. She was at the stairs now.

"Okay…" Lapis noted that Pearl was still climbing the stairs. Slowly, clearly conflicted about every step she took. "Pearl. I… um." She had to force herself to avoid Pearl's eyes. If she looked into them, Lapis knew she would be rooted in place and wouldn't be able to look away. Then, there would be no escape at all. She forced herself to keep looking at her prim ballet flats. Lapis didn't know what to say and her mind only blanched whiter and whiter as Pearl took those slow, painstaking steps up the stairs. Every step she took, Lapis' knot grew tighter. She couldn't speak at this point. She didn't want to break down again. Not like this, so she simply let Pearl continue her advance.

"Lapis I'm sorry." Pearl said. She had reached the top of stairs and was now standing over Lapis and fidgeting with her fingers. "I… I knew you probably didn't think too fondly of me or the other gems. I just… I thought it was all over now. I thought that maybe with the little that we had been through, you had forgiven us. Clearly, I was wrong. I just hope that you can forgive us. I hope that you can forgive _me_."

"W-well… I… I accept your apology. But I don't forgive you." Lapis then focused all her willpower into forcing herself to stand up. She was still not totally in control of herself though because when she tried to step past Pearl she stumbled.

"Ah!" Lapis screamed but couldn't right herself. Her limbs still felt like lead, and she was about to fall down the stairs. She would have too, if it wasn't for Pearl, who caught her and pulled her back into an upright position. Unfortunately, Pearl was just cruel enough to pull Lapis into a position where she was forced to look her full in the face, and by consequence, into her eyes.

They were so wide, they were normally large but they were even wider now due to Pearl's concern over the fall. Just like before, Lapis thought it was such a shame eyes like those were on someone she hated so much. In those eyes she saw an emotion. But today it was different. It wasn't that unidentifiable negative quality that she normally saw. It honestly wasn't even anything she wasn't expecting. It was just concern. Plain and simple. She was concerned because Lapis might have hurt herself.

"Lapis, are you hurt?" Pearl asked, and then she realized just how close she and Pearl were. Lapis was practically cradled in Pearl's hands with one hand on her back to stop the fall and the other clasping Lapis' wrist for control. Lapis could feel the warmth from Pearl's hands and it would have been comforting if not for the fact that it was coming from Pearl. Neither of them said anything until the warp pad activated at which point both of them blushed shades of blue and parted. Lapis nearly stumbled again, but the odd interaction had helped her wake up and she was quickly able to regain her balance this time.

"Well, I see you two are getting to know one another. Which is good." Garnet spoke when she observed them for a moment. "Because as I have decided, Pearl will be your mentor until you are prepared to go on missions. And possibly after that to train you as well."

" _WHAT!?"_ Both Lapis and Pearl both shouted at the same time.

"Why _her!?_ " Lapis asked in indignation.

"Garnet you're making a mistake! I think that out of all of us, you would be more qualified for this!" Pearl shouted.

"Because she is more capable of dealing with your emotional ranges than Amethyst or myself. I may understand the emotions of others, but I lack the ability to correctly project my feelings. Amethyst on the other hand, can also understand feelings, but she can be rude and crass and even ignore those feeling. You, Pearl, are an excellent conversationalist capable of interpreting and expressing your feelings. Combined with your motherly nature, you are simply the most logical choice to shepherd Lapis until she is capable of controlling her emotions on her own. This is my final decision on the matter." Garnet then began to walk back into her section of the temple but was interrupted by Lapis.

"Hold on, why not Steven or Peridot? Why not anyone else who I actually want to hang out with!?" Lapis shouted. She didn't want to have to hang out with Pearl. How was Pearl supposed to help her? She didn't even like Pearl.

"Steven may be charismatic, but he lacks the experience to actually do anything more than make you feel better at times. That is not what you need. You will need someone who can walk you through the steps required to calm yourself down to levels in which you can perform coherent thought. Peridot, in a similar fashion, will only be able to bring those emotions out and then you will have a lengthy recovery time as you will have to experience emotions that Peridot does not familiarize herself with. I am truly sorry about this morning Lapis, and I didn't mean to cause you so much distress by placing you at the forefront of conversation so immediately. I only wanted you to be able to relieve yourself of your grievances with us. It was a gamble that I took at your expense and I'm sorry for that. I promise I only want to help you in this situation. This morning was a perfect example of what I don't want you to have to endure for long periods of time. I understand that you may not enjoy the arrangements right now, but eventually when you're more stable you may be able to see that I was only performing the best of my and the other gem's abilities. Now, I have an extremely dangerous artifact to burn. So if you'll excuse me." Garnet continued walking towards the temple door and into the burning room.

"Arrgh!" Lapis screamed at simply everyone and stared at Pearl.

"I-I'm sorry Lapis, I don't know what to do… well I guess I'll have plenty more time to make it up to you now right?" Pearl smiled meekly, clearly at a loss of anything else to do.

"Make it u-" Lapis and the rest of the gems turned to see Steven and Connie rush into the door with concern on their face. Well, Steven had concern on his face, Connie seemed a little shocked to finally have seen the same person who tried to drown her at some earlier point in time.

"I'm going home now. Peridot are you coming with me back to the barn?" Lapis demanded.

"Uh, yeah" Peridot said.

"Uh, I'm just going to head back to my room soooo… seeyalaterbye!" Amethyst then deigned it appropriate to beat it out of there as fast as she could.

"Okay, Peridot let's… let's just go home." Lapis said tiredly as she activated the warp pad.

When Lapis and Peridot got back to the Barn, Lapis was was mentally burned out and she had an inclination to sleep again. She didn't want to sleep if Peridot wouldn't hold her though, so she would have to be a bit careful about how she asked her. Peridot wasn't known for her love of physical contact.

"So, Peridot… I uh… I wanna say thanks. For today." Lapis started.

Peridot truly looked confused. "I mean, I was just being a great friend. You fought me most of today but now you're thanking me, the great and lovable Peridot. Why am I not surprised? But you're welcome." Peridot said as she snuggled into her portion of the truck and yawned "I'm thinking of sleeping again tonight. I would ask if you would join me but I assume that you're already well rested from...earlier." Peridot stated in tired tone.

"Well, yeah. I am pretty well rested, but it was… 'nice' to sleep earlier today and I was wondering if you might uuhh… hold me like you did earlier until I fall asleep again." Lapis rushed out the last few words in a futile attempt to try to hide her obvious embarrassment.

Peridot opened her eyes and gave Lapis a confused look. "What?"

"W-well, when I was crying earlier I felt you, felt me hug you, I mean you hug me and-and it was just kinda nice and it was the reason I was able to fall asleep and I kinda want you to do it again because I uh, I thought sleeping like that was nice." Lapis tried to get the words out as quickly as possible, hoping Peridot wouldn't simply laugh at her. She would at least be ready for that. She wasn't ready for this.

"Lapis, I didn't hug you when you were crying. Pearl did."

* * *

 **A/N: Dxzstar here, uhh. I didn't plan for this. Seriously the hugging thing was not in the plan and what little plans I had are now blown asunder… um. I'll get on working this into a decent plot. Anyways, other than that I am satisfied. Other than the fact that this was the second time I had to go back and edit a chapter immediately after publishing it. I'll try to be better about that from now on. It's just that I was so tired when I finished, I think I missed some of the less obvious errors. Also, typing out Lapis' little nervousness was hard and hopefully it makes sense but the way it is there is pretty much the only way I can see it making sense. So yeah. So, ladies and gentleman lemme know what you think in the reviews and have a great night.**


	3. A chat with Pearl

**Saturday, The Barn 10:00**

"Peridot, are you coming along for my 'introductory' session with Pearl today?" Lapis asked as she mentally prepared herself for her first day with Pearl as her mentor. Peridot had received a message from Steven on her tablet yesterday telling her that Lapis needed to meet with Pearl on Saturday. It was described as an 'introductory' meeting. Lapis wasn't exactly sure it could be considered an 'introductory' meeting by any standards. She'd been inside Pearl's head for several thousand years. Lapis probably knew more about what was in Pearl's gem than she did. Well, she actually didn't have a clue because time was stopped inside of the pocket dimension of a Gem's gemstone and all the items held inside were held in stasis. Still, this was silly.

"Not today Lapis. Something is wrong with this primitive communication tower." Peridot spoke from the base of the large antenna tower that was near the barn. "It's likely going to take some time before I can fully repair it. So you'll have to go on your own today. Try to have a better experience with Pearl and the other gems and don't have another breakdown." If anybody else had said something like that Lapis might have drowned them. But she knew what Peridot was really trying to say. "I hope you have a better day today and I hope you don't have another breakdown". Or something to that effect. Peridot was really a great friend but she'd be even better if only she could be a better conversationalist.

"Okay, I guess I'm heading out then. I'll see you when I get back. Make sure to let me know if anything exciting happens on the TV." She heard a grunt of acknowledgment from Peridot and slowly walked to the warp pad, dreading the no doubt awkward encounter she was bound to have. Between the new knowledge that Pearl had been so caring as to hold her until she fell asleep during her outburst two days ago, and her much too touchy rescue of Lapis from the impending peril of stairs, Lapis realized that she would soon have to thank Pearl instead of brooding the way she was right now. She just wasn't sure how. Pearl was no fool, and she was bound to know that Lapis despised her. That would just make it awkward on Lapis' part. She was getting a knot in her stomach just thinking about it.

" _I don't want to do this anymore."_ And with that one singular thought, she nearly turned around. It would have been so easy. She could just sit in the truck and Peridot wouldn't be any the wiser until she was done repairing the tower. She didn't have to go. Nobody was forcing her. She could say no right?

Just then the warp pad activated and as the glow faded it was… Pearl. Destroying Lapis' plan to skip out. Yay.

"Oh, hello Lapis there you are, I was starting to get worried you wouldn't come by. I um, I know it must be hard for you to force yourself to do this after what happened, so I thought I would come to the barn instead if it made you feel better." Pearl exploded into nervous chatter before Lapis could even fully comprehend that she was there. Luckily for Pearl, Lapis had her beaten as far as who was more nervous.

"Uh, hi Pearl, I… Sure?" Lapis was already anxious and Pearl's sudden appearance had only made it worse. Hopefully she wouldn't be like this for the rest of the day.

"Oh, good! This is going to be a great day Lapis!" Pearl said, stepping past Lapis. "I figured you'd had enough of talking about the terrible time you've had on Earth. I know I called it an introductory meeting in the message I sent to you and Peridot, but I decided that maybe you don't want to talk. If Thursday was any indication, talking about these things is clearly upsetting, so why don't we just do something that _you_ want to do? I know you haven't been able to enjoy much of Earth and honestly there are some things about Earth that even I just don't understand but nonetheless I enjoy them and I know there must be something that you enjoy doing. Right?" When Pearl turned back around to Lapis she wore a nervous grin.

" _What's with that smile of hers?_ _Does she want something from me?"_

"Uh. What?" Lapis had been trying to follow Pearl but honestly she'd gotten lost in Pearl's ramblings.

"I was saying that we could do whatever you wanted today. Or maybe I could introduce you to some of my pass-times? I know you haven't had very much time to get used to Earth so maybe we could find some activities that you like." Pearl was really beaming at Lapis now and she found it unnerving. She liked this idea over talking about how she felt about the gems but she didn't have anything she enjoyed really. Well, anything she enjoyed and wanted to share with Pearl. The meep morps were something she shared with Peridot and she actually felt like the meep morps were at the core of how she and Peridot had bonded so quickly. She didn't want to lose that special connection just because Pearl wanted to foster her own odd connection to Lapis. The same with the TV and "Camp Pining Hearts". Those things belonged to her and Peridot. But at the same time... She actually was really relieved that Pearl had thought to let her do something instead of having to talk about herself more, so maybe she _could_ do something with Pearl?

"Um… out of curiosity… how long are these weird sessions supposed to last?" Lapis asked Pearl while trying to trace an indiscernible figure in the dirt with her toe.

"That's actually a good question. I haven't really thought about it, I was so concerned with thinking of a way we could bo-…" Here, Pearl seemed to stiffen and watched Lapis as if she might have triggered a tripwire and Lapis was the impending trap. She continued only after Lapis looked up and cocked her head like a confused animal. "um nevermind, f-for now, you can simply tell me when you've had enough for the day and that's when we'll end it. In exchange, if I ask a somewhat… personal, question you'll answer me truthfully and without too much complaint and I'll do the same. This way, I can help you with whatever is bothering you, but at your pace. Hopefully you'll also feel somewhat more open knowing that I'll also always answer your questions. Agreed?"

Lapis wasn't particularly keen on the arrangement of always answering Pearl's questions but she had to admit she was curious to see into the life of other gems. It might be balanced out by the fact that she could at any time call it quits for the day but there were things that she didn't like to talk about, even with Peridot. There was no way she'd ever even be able to get the words out in front of Pearl when she could barely talk _without_ any "personal" and tear inducing memories. This was a gray for her. She wasn't sure how this was going to help and honestly she didn't want to talk either. At the same time, while she didn't really want to learn more about Pearl in particular, she did want to know about anything important that had happened in the last few thousand years. Besides she might find a new way to pass the time with these little session.

"I guess that's fair. I'll… I'll answer your questions. But for every question you ask me, I'm gonna ask you something similar. It'll be give and take." Lapis said.

"What a wonderful idea! It'll feel more like we're uh… associates?I can't wait for us to get to know each other and get past… what happened before..." Pearl started excitedly but her momentum quickly fell apart at her less than discreet mention of their hostile history.

"Yeah… Just don't make the mistake of thinking we're actually friends… I'm… I'm not here to make friends with you." When she looked at Pearl's completely dejected face she knew she had said the wrong words to her. _"_ _Shit. I wanted to_ _apologize not tell her I hated her."_

"Wait! I didn't mean it like that. I mean we're… we're not friends _yet_. We can become friends but it's not that easy..." Pearl looked at her and nodded as if she understood but there was still hurt in her eyes. There it was again too. That look that Lapis didn't understand. It was working her nerves to see it but she had no idea what it meant other than it was a negative feeling. She _did_ know that it was making her angry though.

Pearl awkward smile had just faded and there was no more happiness in the conversation. They simply stood there in awkward silence for awhile. Neither of them were sure what to say or do at this point in the conversation. Eventually though, Pearl once again took the initiative to break the silence.

"So… we should probably begin with today's activities. What would you like to do Lapis?" Pearl asked Lapis in a tone that couldn't be mistaken for anything but forlorn.

Because she had to mentally tell herself to calm down, and because she wasn't thinking clearly in the first place, she wasn't actually sure what she wanted to do. "I… I don't know. I guess we could try something you like to do?" Lapis slowly replied. Honestly, she wanted to call it quits. She'd had enough of awkward silences already and she knew there would only be more but she also knew she had to do this. She also knew Pearl wouldn't let her back out before the day was even started.

"Oh. Well I know one thing that I like to do is bake. Of course, I don't _eat_ the food afterwards but I do enjoy the process of baking it." Pearl babbled.

"I see. I… I guess we could try that. We're gonna do it at the barn right? I don't really wanna speak with all of the other gems right now..." Lapis stared at the figure that she'd been carving into the ground with her toe and it was shaped something like Homeworld's star system. Pearl noticed but didn't comment.

"Lapis, I don't want to do any baking in your barn even if you did somehow manage to get the equipment somehow…" Pearl stared at Lapis and then seemed to have a realization. "How did you get something like an oven in the barn? You couldn't have made it seeing as most of the spare parts in the barn were used up on the drill..." Pearl began to ponder before Lapis answered her question.

"Okay, so we don't have an oven in the barn. Let's just go to the temple then…" Lapis admitted with slight frustration in her voice. She started to step on the warp pad but Pearl called to her before she could activate it. When she turned Pearl was staring at her with concern again.

"Lapis. It'll be okay. I'd be lying if I said we've never seen our own cry in the temple. I've cried in front of the Crystal Gems more times than I can count. And that's just since Steven was born. They'll understand. I promise." Pearl tried to give Lapis an encouraging smile, but it was obvious looking she was still hurt by Lapis' previous comment. Lapis almost apologized to Pearl because she still felt like it was something she had to do but she couldn't think of any sensible way to apologize for being mean at the moment.

"Thanks Pearl." Lapis said in a low voice.

"You're welcome Lapis"

"… I… Um can I ask you something before we go Pearl…?" Lapis asked sheepishly

"Yes, Lapis?" Pearl responded, still sounding a little hurt but clearly trying to seem confident again.

"What's baking?"

* * *

 ***A/N: Hi everybody. First of all, I'm sorry this update took so long. I had horrible writers block combined with having to get ready for an event with my battle gaming group (Think LARPs but with none of the leveling and magic and just straight up combat. Much more fun.) It was fun but exhaustive, and it took away another three days of writing time and now mother nature decides that she want to beat up the Floridians. Grr. So, in light of all that, this is a really short chapter to sate everyone until everything calms down here. I just don't want to keep you all waiting another week for an update that may not come (~Hurricane Matthew is made of evil and I may die~) So I'll try to type up the rest of this chapter and get it posted ASAP if my computer survives this ordeal. Anyways… comments! I got good feedback and I'm thankful that everyone is enjoying the story. Hopefully once this whole fiasco is done I'll get to a sense of normalcy with my updates and we'll all be happy! Anyways, be safe guys and wish me luck! BYE!**


	4. A Cake Worth Crying For

* **A/N: I** _ **LIVE!**_

* * *

 **Saturday, The Temple 11:00**

When Lapis warped in with Pearl, she was greeted by one ecstatic Steven, one screaming Amethyst, and one smiling Garnet. Garnet was seated on the couch, legs crossed while she watched Amethyst who was holding Steven and twirling rapidly like some demented purple whirlwind.

" _They look so happy."_ Thought Lapis. _"When was the last time my smile was that wide?_ _Even if I don't count the time I spent in the mirror It's just been so long._ _I think I've actually spent more time upset than I have actually being happy, here on Earth._ _..."_ Lapis thought to herself.

"Hello Pearl, Lapis." Garnet greeted calmly as if this was normal.

" _Heck, maybe_ _this is_ _normal. The Crystal Gems seemed to have inherited some of the odd customs of the humans in their time here."_

"Amethyst! Stop that before someone gets hurt!" Pearl shouted immediately upon seeing Amethyst.

" _Guess not."_ Lapis thought to herself,

"Lighten up P. I was just showing Steven what it's like to be in one of those really big storms. You know the really big storms that cover entire parts of the country. They tear roofs right off of buildings and flood whole towns! Man, I wanna see one of those!" Amethyst chattered.

"Yeah, I wanted to know what it would be like to be in one and Connie told me they have really strong winds that spin really fast so Amethyst was spinning me around so I'd learn what it felt like." Steven said. He attempted to walk towards Lapis and Pearl but he was clearly dizzy and he started to lose his balance a few short steps away.

Lapis and Pearl both moved instinctively and caught him before he could fall. When Lapis grabbed him though, he felt warm, a lot like Pearl. She realized that he'd felt like that before when he helped her get up after releasing her from the mirror, but again, she'd been too caught up in the moment to notice. After thinking about it, he'd felt like that every time they made contact, she just usually wasn't in a calm enough state to notice. She wasn't sure if she liked that. Most of the time, if she made contact with another gem, they were cold. Gem's temperatures were only mildly affected by the environment unless the temperatures reached extremes like in lava or on planets made of frozen gas. There were exceptions of course. Gems like Rubies, Bismuths, Sapphires, and a few other gems could be made to handle certain extreme temperature ranges which would change their natural internal temperature, but as a general rule of thumb, most gems shared a very small range of natural internal temperatures. Pearl's and most quartz's were not exceptions to this rule so it was odd to have felt the same warmth from both Pearl and Steven. She'd simply ignored it when it was just Pearl, but now that she realized it was emanating from Steven too, she was just curious.

" _Are all the Crystal Gems like this? I wonder if it has something to do with being on Earth for so long. Has it changed them?_ _But that means that the change would have to be somewhat slow. I remember when that Emerald bumped into me after being on Earth for the past 200 years and even then she felt cold_ _._ _Maybe Peridot will know something about it. I'll have to ask her later on tonight"_ She noted.

"Thanks guys." Steven said as he righted himself with the help of Lapis and Pearl.

"They're called hurricanes and they aren't something you want to see or experience." Pearl explained as she knelt down to look Steven in the eye. "We Gems would be fine, but they are incredibly dangerous for humans who might drown in water or get hurt by debris. The strongest of them are prone to destroying structures made of weaker materials, and usually only buildings made of stone or metal materials are left standing. If one were to appear here, your portion of the temple would be destroyed. Not to mention, the barn would be destroyed too and then Lapis and Peridot wouldn't have a place to stay." Pearl explained.

"Oh. I guess that's not so fun then." Steven responded while looking more than a little disappointed.

"Exactly." Pearl stated with a somewhat satisfied tone. "Now, me and Lapis are going to going to bake some cookies. I would like to ask that you leave us to ourselves. Lapis still isn't exactly comfortable around us and I don't want her to feel too stressed out over this. So please, I think that she'd appreciate it if maybe we'd calm down with the antics today. Is that right Lapis?" Pearl looked up at Lapis for confirmation.

"Um… Yeah." She started rubbing her left arm, clearly not appreciating the attention that had been brought to her again. "I… I don't really want to talk much today."

"Okay then," Steven nodded in understanding. "I guess me and Amethyst will head out to the beach then?" Steven looked to Amethyst.

Amethyst frowned and looked ready to protest but after looking at Lapis again she seemed to decide against it. "Yeah. I get how that can be sometimes. Let's go to the arcade." Amethyst said.

"Uh, let's not. Every time we go to the Funland arcade, I get banned again." He said, stepping away from Pearl and frowning. "Let's go visit Lars and Sadie at the Big Donut instead."

"Yeah, sure. Let's go get us some donuts! Then let's go to that pizza place and those fry guys!" Amethyst said while she started walking out with Steven.

Lapis wanted to test her theory and touch Amethyst to see if she also bore the awkward warmth but that would require more courage than she was willing to spare. She didn't want to bring more attention to herself. Not to mention it would just be weird if she called Amethyst over just to touch her.

"I'll be coming along with you and Amethyst." Garnet said, standing up and walking with them both.

"She must have some great expectations if even she is going out for this..." Lapis heard Pearl mumble. The others probably couldn't hear but they wee still fairly close.

"Pearl, make sure to mind your words and don't press Lapis for too much information. Lapis, try not to get too frustrated with Pearl. She's trying her best. _Bo_ _th_ of you need to _relax_. We'll be back in a few hours." She said while walking towards the door.

For a moment, neither of them really said anything. Lapis looked around for a moment and then moved to sit on the couch. Pearl began removing ingredients from the cabinets and from the fridge. After a minute or so Lapis spoke up.

"Pearl. You never really explained to me what baking was..." Lapis said.

"Oh, I'm sorry Lapis." She said as she turned to Lapis. "Baking, is one of the ways that humans prepare food. Typically, it involves taking some type of combination of various chemicals and other substances that combine into a 'batter' once you've created the 'batter', you put in this machine here," Pearl pointed at the oven. "it then heats it until it turns into something that the humans find edible. Personally, I tend to decorate the food afterwards. Then, I typically give it to Steven and Amethyst and they can eat it. Every now and then, Garnet eats a bite or two. But usually it's just Steven and Amethyst who eat while me and Garnet talk." Pearl explained. She was clearly nervous about Lapis but seemed to be excited to bake.

"Okay… So, what do we need and where will we do it?" Lapis asked, not quite cluing in that Pearl had already started to prepare the ingredients.

"We'll start right here. Would you mind joining me here in the kitchen?" Pearl answered while beckoning Lapis.

Lapis nodded and slowly stood up. She was still nervous about this whole thing. She still didn't like being alone with Pearl but hopefully, there wouldn't be too much conversation going on today and that made her feel a little better about it all. Slowly, she began to walk to the small boxed in area that Pearl called the 'kitchen'. As she approached she noticed Pearl stared at her and it was easy to tell that Pearl was almost as nervous as she was. It was clear because Pearl was fidgeting with her fingers, much like the way she did when she came up the stairs to approach Lapis in Steven's bed. She felt a little bit better knowing that Pearl was also feeling nervous about this.

"So…" Lapis tried to start a conversation but trailed off immediately not knowing what to say.

"Oh, I suppose we should start now shouldn't we?" Pearl said. She took a deep breath and looked a little bit more relaxed. "Now, Lapis, since you're new to this, I'll just give you simple instructions of what to do. Now, why don't we start with the eggs?" Pearl picked up one of the eggs and lightly tapped it against the rim of the counter. "You have to crack the eggs, li-"

"What are you doing!?" Lapis shouted, snatching the egg from Pearl and incidentally crushing the shell. Lapis simply stared in horror at the remnants of shell and the ooze that had gotten all over her hand. "Wha-what? What did you do to this gem?" Lapis asked, clearly befuddled at what she was looking at.

"Lapis, it's not a gem, it's an egg!" Pearl shouted. "Humans use them in a variety of ways for food." She was looking at Lapis and the odd emotion returned once again. The one Lapis could never understand. She'd love to take the moment to call Pearl out on it for once, but the oddity of her current situation took priority.

"Huh?" Lapis took another look at what she had in her hands, which was now also oozing onto the floor. "Oh." Was all she could say as she slowly realized what was going on. "I'm sorry..." Her cheeks blushed a deeper blue as she stared at the floor and tried to avoid Pearl's gaze.

"It's fine." She said with a bit of a huff. She started to clean up the mess on the floor. "This is my fault. I should have expected you to react like that. I did the same thing when I first saw Greg crack an egg. It's kind of funny when you think about it. If you look at the shell of the egg, and see all of it's imperfections, you think to yourself 'This couldn't possibly be a gem. If it is, it has to be defective or poorly grown.' Yet, you just can't help but try to save it. Even if it's not sentient enough to realize it was saved."

" _Then why didn't you save **me**?"_ A vicious coil of anger unraveled from the tension in her gut, but she shoved it back down. She still didn't like Pearl, and she wasn't ready to forgive her, but she didn't feel like she had to let the anger be the only thing she could feel. If she let it sit on top of how she already felt, she'd cry again before she could even tell Pearl how angry she was.

Lapis could see Pearl cleaning the mess below her and stepped out of the way, still not wanting to say anything.

Pearl stood up and Lapis could see the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes, but she couldn't figure out why they were there. "We should wash that yoke off before it dries." Pearl said but her voice was somewhat strained. She carefully motioned for Lapis to put her hands under the tap, and Lapis was surprised when water began to flow over her hands. She removed the yoke from her hands and Pearl turned the water off, once again leaving them in an awkward silence while Pearl cried silently beside her. Lapis wasn't in the mood for one of these and she started talking without thinking.

"Pearl, we need to keep baking. You shouldn't be crying, you should be happy..." Pearl looked a little confused by her words so she tried to elaborate. "I'm not going to say you've never experienced something terrible. I know what happened to you _before_ you became the fearsome rebel Pearl." Here, she looked back at the floor, not wanting to make eye contact with Pearl while she mentioned this.

"I'm sure you've lost friends who were close to you too," She continued.

" _Although, I'm sure you never had to try and soothe the one who shattered them."_

"The thing that I'm trying to say is...You've had bad things happen to you before. Yeah, those things hurt." She felt a familiar hitch when she tried to speak and realized she should stop. She'd cry again. Maybe not breakdown, but she was definitely going to cry again. She couldn't stop though. Pearl wasn't the only one who needed to hear what she was trying to say. She needed to hear it for herself.

"They're terrible memories that you sometimes wish you could get rid of. That doesn't mean that you have to relive them. Right now, you could be doing something you enjoy, like this baking thing. But here you are, sulking like it's all happening all over again. It's not happening though. You're not back on Homeworld, and you're _not_ in a mirror. So stop crying, and smile while you can still do something that you enjoy." As she spoke, she started to shed her own tears as she realized that she needed to hear those words herself. She thought it was funny how the little pep talk had brought her to tears. When she looked back up at Pearl, she wasn't really surprised to find that Pearl had also done the exact opposite of what she'd just said, and was crying to herself even harder.

"You-You're right." She said and Lapis could tell she was trying to get a grip as she gave a frail smile. It didn't take long for that smile to crack though, and Pearl's silent cries began to increase in volume. When they became full sobs, Lapis realized she'd only made it worse and she started trying to repair the damage she'd done.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make it worse! I- _Aah_!" She leaned over to make more apologies but Pearl immediately threw her arms around Lapis' neck. She hadn't expected Pearl's embrace and her initial thought was to struggle against her. After a whirlwind of arguments and emotions flew through her head though, she slowly returned Pearl's hug. Inch by inch until her arms were wrapped around Pearl. After that, Pearl's sobs diminished into hiccups, and those into sniffles. When Pearl finally released Lapis, she wiped her face and smiled. This time, the sniffles stayed gone.

"Thank you Lapis. I didn't even realize how much I needed to hear that. You're right, there's no point in crying, we're wasting time. Now, let's get back to making that cake!" Now her smile was an eager grin and Lapis couldn't help but grin as well. She still wasn't fond of Pearl, but she was always one to return the favors of others.

"Now, back to the eggs. This will be the first thing for you to do, we still have yet to mix the batter, and add the flour, and take measurements..." Pearl trailed off on her own tangent while Lapis rolled her eyes and followed her instructions. She barely realized that she was smiling despite herself.

There were a few mishaps, like when Lapis tapped the egg too hard, and when she got the measurements wrong, but after about half an hour of toil and trouble, a cake was steadily rising out of the pan.

"What's next?" She asked Pearl, eager for the next step.

"Now, we wait for the cake to finish baking. We've completed everything except decorate the cake and clean the rest of the kitchen. I'll wash the dishes and clean the counter tops while you relax and wait for the cake to finish baking."

"Oh. Okay." Lapis walked out of the kitchen area and sat don on the couch. While she'd had a bit of fun making that cake, her nerves were on edge. She'd never had an interaction with the Crystal Gems that took that long. She wasn't completely stressed out though. The weird procedures of making that weird batter kept her mind busy, and the chatter was always about the cake itself, so she hadn't had to put any effort into talking. Still, the proximity was an issue that she was going to have to get over at some point. She wasn't tired from her experience, just jittery. She appreciated the time to relax without being so close to Pearl. It also gave her time to wonder about what in the stars happened in the kitchen. She had no idea why Pearl had begun to cry and she wasn't really sure about her own supportive little speech either. She'd told herself that she didn't want to talk to Pearl, and then she'd gone on to fix the silences between them.

" _I'm pretty sure I don't know what I want anymore. I don't want to talk, but the silence is uncomfortable. I don't wanna forgive Pearl, but there I am trying to comfort her about something I don't even understand. Seriously, what happened there? She was fine until she had to clean that thing off the floor…"_

"Okay!" Lapis was pulled out of her thoughts by Pearl who just finished the cleaning. "In a few minutes, the cake will be finished baking and you can help me decorate it if you'd like." Pearl said as she looked at Lapis from across the room.

"I'd rather not." She really just didn't want to get up and go back near Pearl again. She'd just calmed down and if she got closer to Pearl she'd get jittery again.

"Oh. That's fine then I suppose." Pearl was clearly somewhat disappointed at Lapis' disinterest. After a few minutes there was a loud beeping noise coming from the oven. Pearl put on a pair of mitts, and pulled out the cake from the oven. "Lapis would you like to see? Or would you rather wait until I've finished decorating it?" Pearl called.

Lapis actually did want to see the cake to see how it changed from the thick liquid, into the brightly colored thing she'd seen in the picture Pearl had shown her. She didn't want to be any closer to Pearl than was necessary though, so she simply replied, "I'll just look at it once Steven gets back."

"Okay." Pearl responded.

After that, there wasn't really any talking in the house. Every now and then, Pearl would take a breath as if she meant to speak, but she'd always just let out a long sigh and return to flitting about the temple. She'd always return to cleaning _something_. Even though it didn't look like there was anything more to clean, she'd always find something to straighten, or something that had to be dusted. Oddly enough, she didn't fin the current situation awkward, (Although Pearl might not feel the same way, if her flitting about were any indication) Lapis simply sat on the couch, waiting for Steven and the others to return. Even though it was calm and somewhat relaxing, she'd have left right then if she didn't want to see both the finished cake, and what Steven thought of it.

After what seemed like hours, Steven, Amethyst, and Garnet finally walked through the door.

"Hey Pearl, Lapis. You guys finished up with whatever you were making?" Amethyst asked as she casually strode through the house and sat on one of the stools. Steven and Garnet followed closely behind, both giving their own greetings.

"Yes, we actually finished it some time before you all arrived. Lapis was very helpful today and I look forward to the next time she assists me." Pearl looked at Lapis for confirmation of the unsaid question.

At first, Lapis just gave Pearl an expressionless look. It neither confirmed nor denied her questions. "Maybe." Was all she said.

Pearl looked disheartened to hear this but she carried on her conversation anyways. "Well, I think it turned out quite well, all things considered." Pearl opened the refrigerator and pulled out what Lapis could only assume was the cake. She unfurled her wings and swooped over the table to see and she was genuinely astounded by epic transformation of the batter that had originally gone into the oven. The entire thing was covered in a pink icing and in two separate curving patterns there were was a light and dark blue icing that gave the cake a nice ovular pattern all throughout.

"Woah, you and Pearl made this?" Steven asked Lapis, who was now hovering in the air beside him and the others.

She looked between Steven, Pearl, and the cake before she answered. "Yeah, I only helped her mix the batter though." She paused and considered something for a moment. "Maybe next time, I'll help her decorate it too." She said as she looked directly at Pearl. Pearl looked confused for a moment, but then she smiled as she figured out what Lapis was really saying.

Amethyst looked between Lapis and Pearl and the cake and asked "Sooo… are we gonna eat this or are you two just gonna make googly eyes all day? Steven and Garnet only let me get a slice of pizza and some fry bits. I wants me sometin' sweet to eat!"

"Googly eyes? Is that another weird Earth phrase?" Lapis asked.

Amethyst grinned wide but Pearl just glared at her and said "Oh no, none of that Amethyst! We're _not_ having another googly eyes scene. Last time you startled that poor human so badly she quit her job!"

Amethyst just laughed but it seemed she fought down the urge to do whatever it was she had planned. "Alright, alright fine. You're still gonna get the googly eyes one day though Lapis." Lapis could only imagine what the googly eyes actually was.

"Well, if we've averted the crisis of the googly eyes, I would like some cake." Garnet said. Pearl nodded and cut out a slice for Steven, Amethyst, Garnet and then handed one to Lapis. "I'm not sure if you're fond of eating, but you can have slice to try it out."

Lapis nodded and took the slice, she stared at it awhile before breaking off a piece with her hands and stuffing it into her mouth before she could have second thoughts. When she chewed it was cold and fluffy and the icing tasted funny. She decided she actually kind of liked it. When she finished the remains of the cake, she thought it might be time to go.

She'd distracted herself for quite some time but her anxiety was returning and she was beginning to feel uncomfortable again. "Um. This was… nice I'm gonna go back to the barn though and check on Peridot. She's probably bored out of her mind. So… yeah."

"Oh, right. Yes go ahead Lapis, we'll send a message to Peridot when you should show up again."

"Cool, okay bye." Lapis sprouted her wings again and flew to the warp pad, only barely touching it with one foot before activating it. She needed to leave before the knot could form in her stomach again.

" _It was fun while it lasted."_ Lapis thought to herself as she was swallowed by the pale light of the warp pad. " _Maybe this won't be as hard as I thought. Maybe I might even make friends with all of the gems if I can spend a day with Pearl."_

* * *

 ***A/N: Hi guys, I'm really sorry this one took me so long to finish up but I've been busy. I had to help with repairs from the storm, and I just haven't been at home lately to actually type. My ineptitude aside, I hope you guys liked this chapter, Cuz I actually felt proud of it. Except for the ending, but I'm not good at ending things. Next chapter we'll give some of the other gems (and Connie) some screen time to talk to Lapis since Peridot and Pearl have been keeping her busy with their own shenanigans. Now I'm totally not gonna go to sleep. I don't need no sleep. Cuz sleep is for the weak. Yeah, I don't need no rest, till we're all fucking dead. (Yawns) Anyways, leave a review and let me know what you thought of the chapter and if there's anything I need to improve on. Bye!**


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